Chicago Marathon Weekend

I’ve been home from Chicago for two days but have been too busy to post an entry until tonight. Truth be told, I’ve also been struggling with how best to communicate what it was like to run the Chicago Marathon with Team in Training. Let me start by describing all the fabulous things about the experience.

Chicago
A gorgeous city full of great architecture, beautiful public art and straight-talking friendly people. I didn’t do as much sightseeing as I hoped but I saw enough to know I want to visit again soon.

My fellow TNT marathoners
A warm, committed, fun and compassionate group of people who made the weekend truly special. From our “getting to know one another” dinner on Friday evening, where the members of our virtual team met the members of the Montreal team for the first time, to our post-race celebration, they were terrific companions.

TNT staff, coaches and mentors
My fellow runners and I were very lucky to have them with us. Encouraging, knowledgeable, positive and incredibly hard-working, they made everything about the weekend easier. Special thanks to Theresa whose commitment to TNT, warmth, generosity and concern for “her” runners were all simply amazing.

My roommate, Sonia
Though hoping to qualify for Boston, she still found time to be a compassionate, caring and entertaining roommate from the moment we met in the hotel lobby until I caught the express bus to the airport. I am more grateful than I can say for all her support and really hope we'll stay in touch.

Lunch with old and new friends
On Saturday, I met my former college roommate, Midori, her partner, Pascal and some new friends, Becky and John, for a wonderful brunch at a tapa restaurant in Lincoln Park. The food was fabulous and the company even better.

Inspiration Dinner
The night before the race, 426 TNTers from Canada and the US gathered for a meal and to be inspired by special guest speakers, including John “The Penguin” Bingham, a personal hero of mine. The evening began with TNT coaches and staff cheering and applauding for each team as they arrived. Pictures of the people for whom we were running were projected on to massive screens at the front of the room.

After a buffet dinner of pasta, pasta and more pasta, John gave a hilarious and encouraging keynote address, then introduced the second speaker, the mother of a young girl who had just completed leukemia treatment. Needless to say, we all found her story incredibly moving and motivating.

Being honoured as “Top Fundraisers”
The 426 TNT participants in the marathon raised nearly $1.5 million dollars, and at the dinner, 10 of us were honoured as “top fundraisers”. Of the ten, 3 were members of the Canadian virtual team, including Joanna who was #1, having raised more than $15,000. I was pleased to have my efforts recognized, but of course the credit should have gone to my sponsors – who together donated nearly $8,000 in Canada and the US.

Shirt decorating
After dinner, our team met to put the final touches on our race day shirts. I can’t describe how emotional it was to watch my teammates as they attached photos of their honourees and added names and personal messages. Their eyes and faces said so much.

Fabulous spectators
There were many memorable moments during the race itself but one of my favourites was when I saw a sign that read “Dear Stranger, I’m so proud of you!” It was held by a young man who, when he saw me reading it, made eye contact and smiled encouragingly. I wish I could tell him just how much I appreciated that message, coming as it did at a moment when I was struggling.

My inspiration band
If you’ve been following this blog, then you know I made an “inspiration band” to wear on race day. It included the names of the people I most wanted to remember and celebrate during the 26.2 miles of the race. Those names got me through some very tough miles. Thinking about Andrea and Mary (who are currently in the midst of cancer treatments), Blake, Kirsi and Gill (all cancer survivors), the many people lost to the disease (Jon, Maeve, Michael, and Jack, amongst others) and all the people who loved them helped put my own discomfort into perspective.

My sponsors
What can I say? They were so generous with their financial and moral support. The many messages and emails I received in the days and weeks leading up to the race made the training and fundraising an awful lot easier than it would otherwise have been.

Finally, the race
It was harder than I expected. I had trained well, people told me that the energy of the crowds would carry me along, and I was looking forward to running through the city's various neighbourhoods. I suppose I expected this marathon to feel easier than the others I’d run.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it turned out. Cold weather, huge crowds, rough roads and intense pain in my right knee challenged me in ways I didn’t expect. Between miles 16 and 18, I wasn’t even sure I could finish because my knee was locking up and it felt as if my leg might collapse under me. However, sometime after mile 18, it loosened up to the point that I could run more or less normally, so I continued on, finishing the race in just over 4:47. It was a personal best but no where near my goal time of 4:30.

At the end of the race, exhausted and cold, I was deeply disappointed but, with a few days of perspective, I am feeling better about it. I gave it everything I had, and in fact ran the last mile faster than any other, so I can’t ask for more. In any case, the real point of all of this was to honour Jon and Kirsi and raise a significant sum for cancer research - goals I was able to attain with the tremendous support of family, friends, colleagues and sponsors.

Would I do this again?
Yes. It may be a couple of years before I’ll be ready to take on another marathon but I’ll certainly consider volunteering with TNT next season as a mentor and event organizer, and would recommend the experience to anyone. TNT is a terrific organization, with amazing and inspiring staff and volunteers. And running a marathon is a life-affirming, life-changing challenge that anyone who is able to should consider taking on.

My sincere thanks to everyone who supported me on this journey – most especially my husband, Luke, who went above and beyond to ensure I had everything I needed to train and fundraise over the past 5 months. I couldn’t have done it without him.

For a slideshow of all my photos from the weekend, you can click here.

Chicago Tomorrow!

I just received word that a couple of my teammates have already arrived in Chicago, and I’ll be on a plane myself in less than 21 hours. It feels surreal at the moment – but that may be just because excitement and nervousness have prevented me from getting much sleep the week. My coaches tell me it doesn’t matter – that the months of training, adrenaline and the energy of 1 to 1.5 million spectators will carry me through. I hope they’re right!

At this point, I’m pretty much packed but I have a few last minute chores to do this evening – the most important of which are printing photos of Jon and Kirsi to pin to my shirt and getting my inspiration band ready to go. Whatever else happens this weekend, I want to make sure I spend the race thinking about the people I’m running for and why the fight against all forms of cancer – and blood cancers, in particular – is so important.

Less than one week until race day!

Despite 20 weeks of training and preparation, it really doesn't seem possible I'll be on my way to Chicago in just 5 days. I'm incredibly nervous and excited -- and expect I'll be even more so by the time I fly out on Friday.

The first thing to report this week is that I have finally reached my initial fundraising goal of $6,000! I remember how nervous I was about whether it would be possible to raise so much when I signed up. Now, at nearly $6,700, I am hoping to raise 8,000 in total.

Another high point of the week was a fundraising fashion show and auction put on by the Ottawa members of the virtual team. It turned out to be a really fun night that raised almost $4,700. Here's a picture of the team (minus one member) taken at the end of the evening.


My favourite part of the festivities was when the members of the team were lead into the room by two bagpipers in full regalia - kilts and all. Leave it to our fearless leader, Jane (the other member of the group from NS), to come up with pipers! They certainly made an impression!

The team also enjoyed appearing on A Channel's morning show on Wednesday to promote the event and the work of Team in Training.

Finally, this week there was a flurry of email traffic amongst the members of VTNT who will be running in Chicago as we sorted out when and how we'll meet up. I also had the pleasure of chatting today with Sonia, the woman I'll be rooming with who is a member of the Montreal TNT team. I can hardly wait to meet everyone in person on the weekend. They all seem like lovely folks!

At this point, my lists are made but I still have quite a few things to pull together before I fly out -- the most important of which is, of course, my "inspiration band". I've been collecting names all summer and want to be sure I've included everyone I want to be thinking about on race day.

Speaking of which, my law school friend, Nancy posted a note on my fundraising page this week reminding me that her daughter Maeve would have been 16 years old if she hadn't died of leukemia 10 years ago. Thinking of that beautiful little girl and all she bore during 2 1/2 years of treatment is a sobering reminder of why LLSC's work is so important. As Nancy put it, "Hopefully with more research no other child will ever miss their 16th birthday because of leukemia." Here, here, Nancy.

Final weeks before Chicago

I'm back home after two weeks down east on vacation and can hardly believe that in less than 11 days I'll be running the Chicago marathon with 45,000 other people. Five months of training and fundraising have passed so quickly.

This week has been hectic as my fellow Ottawa TNTers and I prepared for a major fundraiser tomorrow night. Once that's behind us, I plan to get serious about resting up for the race. I've got some catching up to do!

I received an email from Kirsi this week saying that she is feeling well and still hopes to run 10km "with me" on race day. What an inspiration it will be to think of her -- so many thousands of miles away in Helsinki but with me in spirit!

I'll be thinking of lots of others too -- including all the those whose names I've written on my inspiration band, family, friends and colleagues who've been so supportive, Jon's and Kirsi's family and friends, and all my TNT teammates. I couldn't have done this without them!

Thinking of Jon

Jon was in my thoughts even more than usual this week. Of course, I’ve thought of him often since deciding to train for Chicago and raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, but this week it was his courage in particular that I thought about.

My long slow run last Saturday was only 20km and, because it was so short (relatively speaking), I expected it to feel easy. It didn’t – 3km into it, I realized it was going to be a long tough slog. My legs felt like lead, my head was fuzzy and I couldn’t seem to find a rhythm. I suppose I was still recovering from the 36km run the weekend before, and was tired from a week of activities that included a two-day retreat for work, preparing to go on vacation, and helping to organize an upcoming TNT fundraising event. But, even knowing all that, I couldn’t help feeling discouraged. How could I have been training so hard for more than 4 months, and still be finding it difficult to run a mere 20km?

As I was shuffling across the experimental farm feeling sorry for myself, I started thinking about Jon – and, in particular, how hard he fought the leukemia that eventually killed him. How could I let one tough run discourage me? There must have been many days when he felt he couldn’t face another treatment or didn’t have the energy to go on – but he did go on, enduring months of chemotherapy, persistent infections, a bone marrow transplant, blindness, chicken pox, and eventual lung failure. While I know there were many days of hope and optimism during those months, there must also have been days filled with fear and despair. His courage and determination in the face of it all is hard to fathom – and, of course, incredibly inspiring.

As I write this, I’m home in Nova Scotia on vacation, nursing a sore foot, struggling to recover from a nasty cold, and feeling a little overwhelmed by all I have left to do before I leave for Chicago. But thinking about Jon’s courage and optimism is helping me maintain some perspective. What I have to deal with is nothing compared with what he dealt with so gracefully.

I had the honour of meeting Jon’s mom and dad in person a week ago, and was moved and inspired by their courage as well. Though their pain and loss are still so fresh, they welcomed me into their home, shared photographs and memories, talked about the importance of bringing an end to cancer, and thanked me for raising funds in his memory. I am more grateful than I can say to them – as well as to Jon’s wife, Michelle – for all the support and encouragement they’ve given me in the past months.

My summer "vacation" and why I'll be sad to see it end

I was feeling quite weepy as I headed out the door for my long slow run at 6:45 this morning.

First, because I was thinking about the brief email I received from Jon’s mother yesterday – which, in turn, got me thinking about how unimaginably hard it must have been for Jon’s family to lose him to cancer at such a young age. It has been such a privilege to be able to spend my summer celebrating his life by training and raising funds for LLSC. And I hope knowing that I and so many others remember him with such affection and admiration brings his family some small measure of comfort.

The second reason I was feeling a little sad was that my run today was the longest I will run before the marathon itself. Though I have two other reasonably tough weeks ahead before I start “tapering” (i.e. reducing my mileage so that my body can heal in time for the race), today’s run was the peak of more than five months of training. I have never in my life before run 67 kilometres in a single week, and my total weekly distance will decline steadily from now until race day.

Of course, in some ways it will be good to have the marathon behind me. Training and fundraising have taken up large chunks of my life over the past four months, and it's time I got back to other projects. On the other hand, I'll be really sorry to see the training come to an end.

I’ve genuinely appreciated the opportunities it's provided to explore beautiful and unfamiliar paths through the city, and have revelled in spending so many hours alone with my thoughts. I’ve also been happy to run with a purpose other than just keeping myself in shape.

Motivated by the love, support and encouragement I’ve received from family, friends and sponsors, I’ve trained harder and more conscientiously than ever before and, as a result, am physically and mentally stronger than I have been in a long while.

Lastly, and most importantly, I’ve been deeply affected by the many stories my sponsors and others have shared with me -- of battles fought and of loved ones lost to leukemia and lymphoma -- all which have brought home to me just how sweet life is, how fortunate I am, and how really important it is to find ways to give back.

Whatever happens Thanksgiving weekend, my TNT experience has already exceeded my expectations. I’ve met some truly inspiring people, raised a lot of money, and enjoyed many wonderful runs. Needless to say, I’ll have a lot of people to thank when I finally make it home from Chicago, finisher’s medal in hand.

PS I couldn’t resist stopping to snap a few photos with my phone as I ran past some astonishingly beautiful flower beds in a park near Dow’s Lake. Too bad the quality isn't better but I hope they nevertheless give some sense of how lovely the flowers were. The other photo is of me arriving home at the end of my 36km run.

More inspiration: Anjali Chadha

I wrote a few weeks ago about how, on race day, I plan to wear an "inspiration band" containing the names of 26 people I want to think about during each mile of the race.

One of those people is my colleague, Anjali Chadha.


Anjali was diagnosed with leukemia when she just 4 years old and underwent radiation and chemotherapy treatments for a period of about 18 months. She still remembers how much she hated all the needles, and that it was several years before she understood why she’d spent so much time in hospital and what it meant to be a cancer survivor.

Two decades later, Anjali remains healthy and strong, and is all about living life to the full. Recently graduated from university, she’s settling into her first grown-up job, and pursuing her goal of becoming a CMA.

In her spare time, she volunteers with Students Aiding Village Empowerment, an organization that raises funds for the development of an Indian village located near Jaipur, where her dad grew up. She also works out regularly, plays recreational soccer on weekends and performs traditional Indian dances at community functions.

Anjali's bubbly, warm personality and positive attitude make her a joy to know and work with. It will be an honour and pleasure to celebrate her and her recovery from leukemia on race day.

Here's a partial list of the other people I'll be thinking about on October 11th: My TNT colleague, Gillian Grant; Michael (the nephew of dear friends); Dawn Collins (an old family friend, who passed away last year); Maeve (the adored daughter of a law school classmate who passed away at the age of 5), Leah's granddad, Jack Fargey (the father of another colleague), Yvan LeClerc (a close friend of old dear friends of mine), David Williams (the father-in-law of a friend and former colleague); and Diana's friend and colleague, Ted Scanlon.

Please let me know if there are other names you would like to add to my inspiration band. It would be a privilege for me to honour your loved ones in this way.

Good wishes from Finland

I'm too tired and incoherent to compose a thoughtful post tonight, but I wanted to share this wonderful postcard that arrived from Finland on Thursday. It's from Kirsi and some of her friends. I loved receiving their messages of encouragement. Check out the hand drawn runner (with water bottle) they added to the image on the card!

Needless to say, the card made me smile. I will keep it close and look at it often in the coming weeks. It means a lot that people so far away are wishing me well in my training. Thanks, everyone!!

The fight against cancer is international

This week Kirsi sent me this photo of herself displaying a beautiful painting she made while attending a yoga course a few weeks ago. It's wonderful to see her looking so happy and relaxed after the very tough year she's had. What an inspiration!

In the email that accompanied the photo, Kirsi observed that the fight against cancer is truly international. For example, even though she lives in Finland, the drug cocktail Kirsi's doctors used to fight her cancer was developed in Italy.

It's good to be reminded that the funds my sponsors contribute to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada (almost $5,000 so far) will support medical research that may end up benefitting people not just in Canada but around the world.

The journey so far

Training
My husband took this photo as I headed out the door for my run this morning. It's nice to have some visual evidence that the training is beginning to pay off. I'm definitely in better shape than I've been for a year or two. The trick over the remaining weeks will be to train hard enough to continue improving my strength, speed and endurance, without pushing so hard that I injure myself. I wish the line between the two were a bit clearer sometimes.

Mostly, I'm feeling quite good -- energised and excited about the training ahead. However, my right leg and hip have been acting up a bit so it may be time to seek some expert advice. I suspect the discomfort I've been having is the result of a combination of things: a torn right calf muscle (from a childhood accident), worn shoes that need replacing, relatively high mileage, and weak muscles in my hips. Hopefully, with some focussed treatment, exercises and new shoes that offer more support, the hip and leg will begin to feel better soon.

Fundraising

Fundraising is going better than I dared hope when I took this on. With 10 weeks still to go until race day, I am only $1,300 short of reaching my goal of $6,000. The generosity my family, friends and colleagues have shown has been truly wonderful. It's also been wonderful to be sponsored by a number of people who don't know me at all -- but who want to support what I'm doing because they cared about Jon or simply want to contribute to finding a cure for blood cancers. I can't begin to express how moving and motivating it is to know that so many are behind me as I head into the toughest weeks of training.

Of course, I won't stop fundraising until race day -- even if I hit the $6,000 mark before then. I still have a number of friends and colleagues I want to contact in the coming weeks, and I plan to canvas my neighbours, and host a fundraising event in early October just before I head for Chicago. Who knows -- maybe $8,000 or even $10,000 isn't beyond the realm of possibility if things continue to go as well as they have been. Only time will tell.

Gratitude

My long run today was a bit tough so I had to work harder than usual at feeling good about it. Half way through, when I was starting to feel sorry for myself, I decided I'd better make a list of the things I was grateful for instead of dwelling on the things that hurt. Here's what I came up with (in no particular order):

• Being able to run when so many others can't.
• The many caring and generous family, friends and colleagues who have offered financial and emotional support over the past 9 weeks.
• My fabulous husband who offers daily love and encouragement, and ensures that I am always properly fed and watered.
• Beautiful recreational pathways and trails on which to run.
• The unseasonably cool, damp weather which has made marathon training during an Ottawa summer so much easier than I expected.
• New TNT friends and colleagues who share my passion for running and for wanting to make a difference.
• Kirsi and Jon for inspiring me to take on this challenge.

Running Lessons

On my long run last Sunday, I got thinking about all the things running has taught me.

Hard work, determination, and a positive attitude can take you a long way.
I may not have the natural talent and grace of a gazelle, but with practice, good coaching and a positive attitude, I've learned techniques and developed abilities that help me cover the ground more quickly and feel good doing it.

Small problems can become big ones if you don’t deal with them when you should.
I’m constantly amazed at how much trouble a tiny pebble in my shoe or laces that are too tight can cause. If – out of stubbornness or stupidity – I don’t stop to fix the problem quickly enough, I invariably end up with more serious pain or injury somewhere else in my body as it tries to compensate for the changes in my gait.

You’re stronger than you know.
Even after I’d been running for more than a year, I really believed 5km was as far as I’d ever run. Certainly, I never thought I'd be running full and half marathons but, six years later, here I am preparing for my 4th full marathon in Chicago. On days when I feel really strong, I even daydream about running an ultramarathon one day! So it turns out I'm stronger than I knew – a helpful thing to keep in mind when life throws me curves I’m not sure I can handle.

It’s important to be attentive to your body and your thoughts.
I enjoy running with others, but I also like running on my own when it’s easier to tune into what my body and my thoughts are doing. When my mind is repeating negative or discouraging messages, it can be tough to finish a run, so I focus on thinking positive, encouraging thoughts – about my running, my training and my life. I also keep a close eye on what my body’s doing. In the past, I’ve sometimes ignored what it was telling me, and pushed myself to the point of injury or exhaustion. But with time, and experience I’ve come to accept that sometimes what I most need is to stop, rest, reflect and breathe deeply.

There’s beauty around you when you remember to look for it.
On a long run, I can be so busy checking my pace, calculating my distance, keeping an eye on traffic, and dealing with whatever bit of my body is uncomfortable at that moment that I forget to notice the beauty around me – the trees, birds and flowers, the laughter of children, the colour of the sky, the smell of the ocean. It’s the same for the rest of my life. I've gone through whole days not paying attention to anything except my own thoughts and worries. To really see, hear, smell, feel and savour the beauty of the world around me, I have to get out of my head and work at being fully present in my life.

Expectations

This week, I’ve been pondering expectations – my own and others'. I have two main goals for Chicago – to raise a lot of money for cancer research and to run the marathon in a personal best time of 4:45.

It seems I may be on the way to meeting the first goal with contributions from family, friends and colleagues (made and promised) topping $3,000 to date. If all continues to go well, I hope to have raised $6,000 or more before I get on the plane to Chicago in October.

The second goal is the one I’ve been struggling with. A colleague told me recently he wasn’t impressed that I aspired to run Chicago in 4:45 – even though it would be a personal best time for me. He thought I should be aiming for a Boston qualifying time of 4:00. I told him he was dreaming in Technicolor (which he was), but the fact is I would like to run it in 4:30 – almost 24 minutes faster than I’ve ever run a marathon before. In theory, it should be possible since I’ve previously completed half marathons in 2:06 and 2:10. But I set the more modest goal because I was worried about raising unrealistic expectations and disappointing the people who had supported me. After all, as wise man once told me, it’s usually better to “under-promise and over-deliver”.

I now think it’s probably a good thing to come clean about my true aspirations for the race so that people know I am making a serious effort in exchange for their support. But I also want to be sure I don’t lose sight of what’s really important here:
To raise money and awareness.
To honour and celebrate my friends.
To remember all the people I’ve met or heard about who have been touched by blood cancers.

It would be nice to run a personal best, and I’ll be training harder than I ever have in an effort to do that. But in the end, this race really is about more than just running – and I don’t want my own expectations – or those of anyone else – to keep me from focusing on what really matters.

My inspiration band

I was thinking about inspiration today as I headed out for my long run. In the past, inspiration for my running has tended to be things like the size of my waistline, the data on my heart rate monitor, or the latest issue of Runner’s World. My training for Chicago is inspired by something completely different – a desire to pay tribute to those whose lives have been touched by blood cancers and to contribute to finding cures for all forms of the disease.

Many marathoners wear a pace band on their wrists when they race. The band sets out the time it will take them to reach every mile marker if they are running at their goal pace. I’m going to wear a different kind of band – an inspiration band – one that lists the names of people I know, or know of, who have been victims of leukemia or lymphoma. My plan is to put 26 names on it – one to provide inspiration for each mile of the race. So far, I’ve collected 9.

Of course, top of the list are Jon and Kirsi. Then comes my TNT teammate, Gill, who is herself a survivor and will be running with me in Chicago. (You can check out her story here.)

This week I learned that one of my work colleagues – a beautiful bright young program analyst – is also a survivor of childhood leukemia. Another colleague confided that his father died of leukemia. So, suddenly, I am running for them as well.

Next, there’s Michael, the young nephew of good friends, who faced death with more grace and courage than most adults; our family friend, Dawn, who died of pneumonia while undergoing leukemia treatments last year; my old friend Leah’s grandfather, who died of leukemia many years ago; and beautiful Maeve, the daughter of a law school classmate, who died of the disease 10 years ago.

No matter how tough the next few months of training or the marathon itself turns out to be, I know my inspiration band will help me get through it. If there are names you’d like to add to my band, please email me or leave a comment here.

Running in Celebration

This week we got the wonderful news that Kirsi’s doctors have given her a clean bill of health. After a year of treatments, hair loss and worry, they found no sign of cancer.

Of course, Kirsi’s good news also makes me want to train harder than I ever have in an effort to run a personal best in Chicago – to honour her courage and determination, and to express my great gratitude to all who have contributed to her recovery. To that end, I’ve kept to my training schedule faithfully -- even tackling tempo runs by myself. I found them hard, but – as I keep telling myself – not as hard as fighting cancer.

The news also brought home to me just how necessary organizations like LLSC are. It would be wonderful if every patient and their family received the good news Kirsi got this week. With that in mind, I will be working hard to raise as much money as I can in the coming months. So far, so good. On-line pledges have topped $1,800 with more in the mail, so it seems I am well on my way to reaching my goal of $6,000.

This was also a special week because I met a few of my TNT teammates in person for the first time. Five of us who live here in Ottawa met on Monday evening to get acquainted and talk about possible group fundraising activities. I’ll look forward to getting to know each of them better in the coming months.



The last notable thing about the week was the weather. Summer has finally arrived. On Sunday, when I ran a 14 km long run, it was 26 degrees in the morning. Remarkably, my body didn’t object to the sudden heat – perhaps because it was still relatively cool when I headed out, and I kept properly hydrated throughout. The highpoint of the run was a very brief pause at the Experimental Farm to admire the iris, peony, and columbine beds. I took the photos here with the camera built into my cell phone. Gotta love technology!

Unfortunately, looking at all those beautiful flowers inspired me to head out to the garden to build my new vegetable bed when I got home. I was glad to get my veggies in the ground, but my legs and back let me know I’d overdone it when I crawled out of bed on Monday morning. Lesson learned. Obviously, from now on I need to get my gardening done before I head out on my long runs.

Believing in the run

I read a great Nike ad this week:

“Running never takes more than it gives back. Believe in the
run”.

I’m beginning to suspect that this run – the Chicago marathon – will demonstrate that for me in a way no other race has.

Training for races has always been about me -- about making me feel happier, stronger and healthier -- but this time it is also about providing financial support for research and patient services for those who are fighting leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma. And knowing that is more motivating than I ever imagined.

My fundraising efforts have started well. Friends and family are responding to my initial appeal with great generosity -- almost $1300 raised to date -- and I appreciate their support more than I can say. It helps so much to know that so they are behind me. The messages they have left on my TNT fundraising page have also been wonderful and very moving!

I ran a terrific 12km long slow run yesterday. It was overcast and cool so I mostly had the trails to myself – except, of course, for the birds, squirrels, chipmunks and groundhogs. With less traffic than usual, I was able to let my mind wander a good part of the time. When it’s going well, a long run truly is a meditation in motion.

I ran a couple of faster runs this week too. At moments, they felt hard. But whenever I felt tempted to quit or slow down, I reminded myself of my reasons for doing this, and just how lucky I am to be able to run.

That’s another gift running gives me -- a tremendous sense of gratitude – for good health, friends and family, the beautiful world in which we live, and the chance to make a difference.

A good week

Training went well this past week. The weather was cool and I stuck to my program. No really long runs yet, but I did a total of 32km, including a couple of good tempo runs, a relaxed run home from work one evening, and a decent long run of 11km yesterday. Legs seem to be up to the challenge, which is great.

My plan is to run just 4 days a week, but try to make every workout count. I also plan to bike to work (21km round trip) 2-3 days per week. My middle aged waistline is telling me some core work is in order so I'll try to find time for yoga and strength training too. Hoping to run with the Running Room group on Wednesday nights so I'll be inspired to pick up the pace a bit. It turns out only hardcore (read "fast") runners have signed up for the RR marathon clinic this session -- meaning I"ll be doing all my long runs alone. Ah, well. It won't be the first time. The good thing about it is that I'll be able to head out as early as I want to avoid the heat. (I am such a morning person --NOT!!)

Time to get some sleep. Sleep is very high on my list of "must dos" in the coming months, and I'm definitely feeling ready to tuck in.

Go team!!

I'm off!

There's been a long silence since I started this blog -- but not because I haven't been doing anything. In fact, my training is well underway, and tonight I set up my official fundraising page. Time to get serious about raising some money.

I've set myself an ambitious goal of $6,000, and I'd like to raise most of that before the training gets too onerous. I've found it's pretty hard to focus after a 32 km run in the heat -- and there are several of those in my future. :-)

For now, the weather is cool, my long runs are relatively short (only 9km last weekend), and I am optimistic I can meet both my goals - to raise a lot of money and to run my best race ever.

My application is in!

So, I've done it. I've sent my application and registration fee to Team in Training. Now, I just have to work up the nerve to tell people I'm doing it.

This isn't the first time I've trained for a marathon. It's the fifth time in fact. But this time it feels scarier somehow. Mostly, I suppose, because this one matters more than the others. This time, if I fail, I won't just be letting myself down.

As I said in my first post, one of the reasons I've taken on this challenge is to honour the memory of a former colleague, Jonathan Kenyon, who died of leukemia in December of 2007. I didn't know Jonathan well but I liked him enormously, and was saddened by his passing. He was a funny, warm, kind person, greatly liked and respected by all of us who had the pleasure of knowing with him. Aside from our work, the one thing Jon and I had in common was that we both loved running. Whenever our paths crossed in the lunchroom, we'd swap stories -- about our long runs, about recent events in which we'd participated, or about the races we'd like to run one day. It was in fact Jon who first told me I should run the Chicago Marathon.

Another very important reason for me to do this is to celebrate the fact that my old friend and roommate, Kirsi Munck, has recently survived her own battle with lymphoma. I've known Kirsi since we were teenagers. She is a warm, funny, creative and loving person who has had too much tragedy in her life, and has faced it all with tremendous courage and grace. It doesn't seem fair that she has also had to deal with cancer -- but then that's the trouble with cancer -- fairness has nothing to do with it. I'm just glad that treatments have gotten to the point where we all have reason to hope she'll be around for a long time.

I've already told Kirsi, as well as Jon's wife and parents, about my plan to run Chicago, and now I've sent off the forms. So, I guess that means I really am committed. Time to get busy working out the details of my training schedule.

Almost ready

So, I've almost decided I can do it. I've almost decided it's not the craziest thing I ever contemplated. I've almost overcome my fear enough to say it out loud.

I want to run another marathon.

I want to run the Chicago Marathon.

I want to train harder than I ever have.

And I want to raise a lot of money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada.

To express heartfelt gratitude for the fact that my dear friend Kirsi's prognosis is so bright following her battle with lymphoma, and to celebrate the life of my former colleague and fellow runner, Jonathan, who died of leukemia in December 2007.