Thinking of Jon

Jon was in my thoughts even more than usual this week. Of course, I’ve thought of him often since deciding to train for Chicago and raise funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, but this week it was his courage in particular that I thought about.

My long slow run last Saturday was only 20km and, because it was so short (relatively speaking), I expected it to feel easy. It didn’t – 3km into it, I realized it was going to be a long tough slog. My legs felt like lead, my head was fuzzy and I couldn’t seem to find a rhythm. I suppose I was still recovering from the 36km run the weekend before, and was tired from a week of activities that included a two-day retreat for work, preparing to go on vacation, and helping to organize an upcoming TNT fundraising event. But, even knowing all that, I couldn’t help feeling discouraged. How could I have been training so hard for more than 4 months, and still be finding it difficult to run a mere 20km?

As I was shuffling across the experimental farm feeling sorry for myself, I started thinking about Jon – and, in particular, how hard he fought the leukemia that eventually killed him. How could I let one tough run discourage me? There must have been many days when he felt he couldn’t face another treatment or didn’t have the energy to go on – but he did go on, enduring months of chemotherapy, persistent infections, a bone marrow transplant, blindness, chicken pox, and eventual lung failure. While I know there were many days of hope and optimism during those months, there must also have been days filled with fear and despair. His courage and determination in the face of it all is hard to fathom – and, of course, incredibly inspiring.

As I write this, I’m home in Nova Scotia on vacation, nursing a sore foot, struggling to recover from a nasty cold, and feeling a little overwhelmed by all I have left to do before I leave for Chicago. But thinking about Jon’s courage and optimism is helping me maintain some perspective. What I have to deal with is nothing compared with what he dealt with so gracefully.

I had the honour of meeting Jon’s mom and dad in person a week ago, and was moved and inspired by their courage as well. Though their pain and loss are still so fresh, they welcomed me into their home, shared photographs and memories, talked about the importance of bringing an end to cancer, and thanked me for raising funds in his memory. I am more grateful than I can say to them – as well as to Jon’s wife, Michelle – for all the support and encouragement they’ve given me in the past months.