This week, I’ve been pondering expectations – my own and others'. I have two main goals for Chicago – to raise a lot of money for cancer research and to run the marathon in a personal best time of 4:45.
It seems I may be on the way to meeting the first goal with contributions from family, friends and colleagues (made and promised) topping $3,000 to date. If all continues to go well, I hope to have raised $6,000 or more before I get on the plane to Chicago in October.
The second goal is the one I’ve been struggling with. A colleague told me recently he wasn’t impressed that I aspired to run Chicago in 4:45 – even though it would be a personal best time for me. He thought I should be aiming for a Boston qualifying time of 4:00. I told him he was dreaming in Technicolor (which he was), but the fact is I would like to run it in 4:30 – almost 24 minutes faster than I’ve ever run a marathon before. In theory, it should be possible since I’ve previously completed half marathons in 2:06 and 2:10. But I set the more modest goal because I was worried about raising unrealistic expectations and disappointing the people who had supported me. After all, as wise man once told me, it’s usually better to “under-promise and over-deliver”.
I now think it’s probably a good thing to come clean about my true aspirations for the race so that people know I am making a serious effort in exchange for their support. But I also want to be sure I don’t lose sight of what’s really important here:
To raise money and awareness.
To honour and celebrate my friends.
To remember all the people I’ve met or heard about who have been touched by blood cancers.
It would be nice to run a personal best, and I’ll be training harder than I ever have in an effort to do that. But in the end, this race really is about more than just running – and I don’t want my own expectations – or those of anyone else – to keep me from focusing on what really matters.
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From one recovering type A to another: Setting a goal is great, but setting one, whether it is "the more modest goal" because you are/were "worried about raising unrealistic expectations and disappointing the people who had supported" you or a "realistic goal" of 4:30, or an ambitious goal of a qualifying for Boston, does make any difference to me, and I suspect many, probably all, of your family and friends.
ReplyDeleteFor me, and I suspect for many of us that don't run, I'm impressed just by your training to run in the race, if you run in it that is even better, and if you didn't finish I would still be impressed, because it is something I can never do.
As for the runners, my impression of those I know is, while they may be competitive with each other or themselves, they are aso supportive of their fellow runners and, if they are ever disappointed, it is "for" you, not "in" you.
Add to it all that you are raising as much money as you can for blood cancer, something a member of my first work team died from at age 25 in 1979, that makes you a great lady.
So train ... and run The Chicago Marathon ... and regardless of how much you raise and what your finishing time is ... I will not be disappointed. And remember Happiness is not a specific place, it is a place between too little and too much.
Thanks so much for this, Diana! Your friendship and support mean a lot.
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